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An unfaithful husband, cheating wife, any
kind of disloyal partner, is an ugly prospect. And that feeling
of being betrayed by someone we thought we could trust more
than anyone else is one of the worst. People who discover their
partners have been unfaithful to them go through a hurricane of
different emotions – anger, sadness, shame, dejection,
sometimes even relief. It’s a grieving process, not of a person
that’s died, but of a relationship and level of trust that’s
instantly disintegrated. In short, it sucks.
But before you can begin “grieve” that loss
of trust, or simply throw caution to the wind and ditch your
partner for good, you need to make absolutely sure your
reaction will be 100% warranted. You need to know without doubt
whether your lover has, in fact, double-crossed you by looking
for, finding, and partaking in, an affair.
The only guaranteed way of knowing this,
aside from finding damning physical evidence or seeing the
affair with your own eyes (both pretty rare), is by hearing a
confession straight from the horse’s mouth, by communicating
your suspicions with your partner and listening to what they
have to say – however heartbreaking or relieving their response
might be. But before you take that big step, there are a few
simpler and smaller steps you can take to make the whole
process, the whole “investigation” and confrontation of your
partner, easier and more factually accurate.
The first thing you should do is look for
some of the most common signs/groups of signs people produce
when they cheat. I’ve listed 3 of them below. Read over and
think about each and carefully consider if they apply to you,
your partner and your relationship.
1. Changes in sex drive and sexual
behaviour.
Sex is almost always an integral part of a
happy and healthy relationship between two people. So when one
of the two, regardless of whether it’s the guy or the girl,
begins to cheat, it doesn’t come as any surprise that changes
in the way they feel about having sex with their partner can be
brought about. There are two main ways these changes can
manifest themselves. When the cheater initially begins their
affair, they may – out of guilt and in an effort to avoid the
newly formed affair being rumbled – actually increase the
amount of attention they pay their real partners in bed.
Conversely, and usually a little while after the affair has
begun, the cheater may appear to have a loss of sex drive.
They, for some reason, seem to not want to be intimate with you
as much as they used to. Once again, this can be attributed to
guilt, but more often it’s to do with a fear they’ll reveal
their infidelity through they way they behave before, during
and after having sex with you.
2. Peculiar changes in habits &
schedule.
When people cheat, they invariably change
their behaviour and/or habits in some way, small or large. The
reason they cannot avoid these alterations is because, no
matter how infrequently or secretly they see the person they’re
having an affair with, they MUST – at some point or another –
go out of their way to do so (and thereby break or change
habits and behaviour). So, look for recent and pronounced
modifications in the times they come home/leave the house (and
whether the changed times ‘repeat’ weekly), increased usage of
the phone or computer for no obvious/innocent reason, and other
differences in the way your partner acts and behaves. You know
your partner’s old habits and ways of living better than
anyone, so draw from that knowledge to compare how they might
have changed them and to decide if the changes are to be taken
as possible indications of betrayal.
3. Miscellaneous indicators of
infidelity.
Lastly, there’s the group of infidelity
indicators that don’t fit in any other box or under any other
title. They’re the things you notice, question and cannot
innocently explain away. They’re the things you spot but almost
choose to forget because you’re so unsure of what they may or
may not mean and whether, ultimately, they are true signs that
your partner is cheating on you with someone else. Here are
just a couple of miscellaneous indications of infidelity:
A. Your partner no longer seems to get angry
with you when in the past they always seemed to be picking a
fight or getting worked up over any tiny issue. Cheaters often
‘let their partners off’ because they want as little
confrontation (which could lead to a discovery on your part) as
possible.
B. She or he frequently shifts the focus
onto you. Cheaters often asks their partners more questions
about how their day went, how they’re feeling, etc, again, to
shift the attention away from them and their guilt.
Remember, when you suspect your partner may
be cheating, always take the smaller steps – by looking for the
kinds of subtle signs listed above – before taking the biggest
step of all: confronting them. Doing so will give you the very
best chance of a happy, or at least a more manageable, final
outcome.
For more ways to catch a cheating spouse, go to BeatingCheating
 |
92% of
people in a relationship either
cheat or think about cheating at
some point in their lives.
Don't be the fool by being the ONLY person who
doesn't know your partner is cheating on
you. |
Betrayal & Dealing with
Infedelity
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